How I Manipulated 600 Pounds of Human Flesh

Losing weight was never a problem for me once I made up my mind. Making up my mind was the problem.

While I planned our my current diet, I tried to estimate the total number of pounds I had lost dieting. It must be close to three hundred pounds. Add another three hundred that I regained and you can readily see that over my dieting life, I have manipulated six hundred pounds of human flesh. Four medium sized men!

Although I have years of experience at dieting, I have spent most of my life twenty-five pounds overweight. I want to give you some rules that were given to me. I have followed these rules without much success. There greatest value is that you can eat very well while failing at your diet.

1. If I eat something and Lois doesn't see me eat it, it has no calories.

2. Things licked off of spoons and knives contain no calories. If you are fixing a peanut butter sandwich for a child, or ice cream when preparing a sundae, lick away.

3. Broken cookie pieces contain no calories. It has something to do with the breaking process, which permits calorie leakage.

4. Entertainment foods are not fattening. Such as food you eat at the movie. They are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel such as Milk Duds, Buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots and Tootsie Rolls.

5. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.

6. Food used for medical purposes never count. Foods like hot chocolate, buttered toast, bourbon and Sara Lee Cheesecake. (Don't ask!)

7. I drink a diet soda with a candy bar; the diet soda cancels out the calories in the candy bar.

It is absolutely remarkable the way my eating habits rule my life. I have my "skinny" clothes at one end of the closet, the "in-between" clothes at the other. The "fat" clothes spend most of their time in the middle.

The "skinny" pants seem to always have the pockets gaping open. That is from wearing them to far into the "fat" cycle and stretching them out of shape. Most of my "skinny" and "in-between" pants have those slides hooked to elastic and expand as I do. A size 42 fits all the way up to 46 before they begin to hurt. That allows me to slide into the fat cycle without having to buy larger clothes. Breaking down and buying larger clothes is so depressing.

It is also depressing watching TV without my usual Oreo cookies and milk ... also, my Rocky Road ice cream ... and my buttered popcorn ... my strawberry shortcake...my coca-cola crammed full of Red Skin Peanuts (sigh)

Life's a bitch. You know?

Doctor/Patient Communication Is the First Step Toward Good Health

and vegetables, saved lives.

They handed out special diets, in some cases, dimly printed and reprinted to the tenth power and was barely legible. It wasn’t the quality of the printing of the diet that mattered, it reflected a careless attitude that indicated a lack of interest. And why not. The Doctor already knew that the diet would be ignored after a day or two. What he didn’t know was had he shown a sincere belief in the diet and explained the nutritional value of vegetables and supplements, the patient might have reacted differently.

What all that says is that for best Doctor-Patient relations and for best health care, communication is a must. Ask if the new prescription is safe with the other drugs you are taking. Doctors are so busy that they sometimes fail to look at your chart, or they look at your chart but do not “see” it.

It’s scary to think about what will happen if the Bird Flu does hit the U.S. There really will be a pandemic. Hospitals over-run, Doctors waiting rooms jammed. In addition to that, a vaccine that may or may not be developed in time. If your doctor gets a vaccine, for goodness sake, ask if it conflicts with your medicine.

The drug companies will eventually come up with the vaccine, but in their haste to get it in the hands of the medical professional, will they test for conflicts that may exist between the vaccine and other medicines?

My message to you here is, take responsibility for your own life. We are the only ones under this skin and we have to look after number one.

Stockpile food, water, lanterns, flashlights (batteries). Consider stocking up on 7 Essentials . You will need this complete functional food in meal packets. You can live on it as long as you need.